Angel tears
by Sigh Paul
Summary: "After the loss of a loved one a part of you breaks" I tried to hold my tears back, I didn't want to have this conversation "and the only thing you can do is try to mend it, and I want to help you… just please let me"


**_A/n: New story guys, it's starts off as odd but I'm sure you'll like it, thank you for reading and here it is the first chapter of Angel Tears_**

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**_Tessa _**

The already known liquid dropped one by one in the IV serum bag and although I was very familiarised with this already, it still made me feel weak and nauseous. Will's warm hand on mine was the only source of heat right now, not even all these covers could keep me warm like he could.

My eyes were tired but I forced them to look at his, blue and beautiful. And though I knew he tried to keep an uplifting expression for me, the dark bags under his eyes couldn't let him lie.

The sight of it made my stomach drop, I was doing this to him.

I rested my head against the comfortable seat and waited for the very last drop of the chemical to make my way into my body. When it did I was informed by the nurse, I thanked her and she left the room.

I stayed in this comfortable position until I felt my stomach scream for release, I tugged at Will's hand and he helped me get up. I sometimes tried to walk alone after the sessions but this time I felt too weak to, not like he ever lets me walk by myself at these times as well but one had to try.

My body got rid of all I'd eaten and now I wasn't even strong enough to stand anymore, Will also knew this and took my slender frame in his strong arms, their warmth soothing me to sleep.

I woke up feeling as if I hadn't slept at all, though the clock told me otherwise. It was late morning on the following day, it was so frustrating how I could never sleep my tiredness and weakness away anymore, I knew it was because of my state, I had gotten used to feeling worn out all the time though.

I laid in bed for a while thinking about Will, what a blessing he's been to me, all these five years of being together, more in these three years of having to fight this illness. Without him I doubt I would've lasted a single day, even trying it wouldn't have been enough.

Noises from outside the room made known that Will was just a door and some steps away from me, but I couldn't get myself to call him.

I felt like such a bother.

He should have a normal girlfriend with whom he could do normal couple stuff, instead of one who makes him suffer due to her stupid illness. I just wanted him to be happy, I loved him so much and it hurt me that it was my fault he couldn't achieve happiness.

Stupid girl, stupid cancer.

He always told me I made him happy, that it didn't matter, but I just couldn't believe him. His sad smile and his tired eyes told me it wasn't the truth. I just loved him for staying with me, for not leaving me, I knew how hard it was to keep up with my every dumb problem and though he told me not to blame anything on myself I just couldn't not.

All my fault.

The door opened and Will entered the room, his presence soothing me instantly, I remember the time where I had started to crave him, it was such a new feeling for me because I had never gotten as attached to someone as I had to Will, he was just… perfect. He took his shoes off and laid down next to me, I cuddled myself to him and he started caressing my cheek.

"Are you feeling better?" His voice was heavenly, just like everything about him. I remember when I met him, I just knew there was something about him that was special and I handn't been wrong, he really was the single most special and perfect person in my world.

"Yeah, don't worry about me please" Words came out of my mouth like a thin thread, I hated feeling this weak. I hated being this weak.

"Of course I will worry, you can't ask me not to, I love you and I will forever worry" He kissed my head and wrapped his arms around me.

Outside the window I could see in the trees with falling leaves and in the hints of haze flowing in the air that we were having a cold autumn, but here with Will I was warm and cozy, he was a serene day of summer where the ocean of his eyes can tell you just how much unconditional love can mean.

"Are you hungry Tess?" My stomach called for a meal just as he asked so I nodded and he helped me get up and walk into the kitchen for breakfast.

Lately he was the one cooking at home, and doing the chores, and doing everything basically, everything we had shared before but we no longer could.

As much as people tell you all god gives you is a blessing with a hidden meaning, this just didn't feel like it, it was a curse upon me, and much more than me, upon him. He was the one that cried for me, he was the one that didn't sleep for me, he would be the only left when I leave, he would be the one mourning.

_Damnit._

He told me about how his boss was close to retirement and how he was the most likely to take the spot, I felt proud about him, the amount of adoration I felt for this boy was impossible to measure because it was so big, I could get lost in his ocean blue eyes or in his beautiful lips, from where the most beautiful sounds came. I reached to him supporting myself with the table and kissed him.

_"_Congratulations, you really deserve this" He smiled and blushed. His blush was the colour of rosy lillies on the most beautiful spring day. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

He smiled at me once again "Well, how much do you love me?" He gave me a toothy smile and I coundn't help but reach to kiss him once again, I couldn't resist him.

I remember the day when he went with me to the doctor to get examined with what I at first thought was nothing but ended up being nothing less than leukaemia. I remember how tears had fallen from his eyes, tears of real pain. The doctor had said that the chemotherapy couldn't but keep me alive for a certain time since the cancer was already too developed to cure. That moment I wanted to die on the spot, I only thought about how afraid I was to die, I didn't want to die. But as the time passed by, I realised that my biggest fear wasn't to die, but to leave Will.

I was scared to leave him, I was scared to fog his happiness and make him miserable. I really didn't want this, he was too wonderful to mourn for a dumb girl forever. When I pass away, I wish for him to be happy, to find someone else and put all his love in them.

_But I don't want him to forget me._

"I thought we could go to the movies today" He swallowed his food and cleared his throat "After I'm done with work I can come fetch you and we could just have a night out since we haven't been going out a lot lately" _Because I've been so weak I haven't even been able to move_

I smiled "Sure, a night out would be great" He grabbed my hands and caressed them, the sadness that always seemed to cloud his eyes lately was there and that just made me terribly sad as well.

Will left for work with a kiss goodbye and I was left alone in the cold apartment. I decided to be useful today, I was upset of feeling this useless all the time and I just needed something to do while waiting for Will.

I cleaned the house, or most of it since when I was close to finishing it I got too tired to move and had to take a rest. After said rest that ended being a nap, I ate the lunch Will had left for me and walked out the apartment to take a walk, fresh air was always good.

Wearing my favourite scarf and sweater I faced the cold breeze of the autumn, such a beautiful season, even though the leaves were dying they were beautiful, they were withering but that didn't make them any less admirable.

I could relate up to some point, or so I felt.

I hadn't realised just how cold it would be outside the comfort and warmth of the apartment. The doctor had told me not to expose myself to low temperatures, but I was well covered, that's what I thought though.

Halfway through what I'd thought I'd walk, I felt too tired to keep on and sat on a bench on the park nearby home. By nearby I mean very close, this meaning I handn't walked a lot yet fatigue huggued my body and made it weak. I was the biggest joke to be made.

As I was sitting I saw a lot of couples walk by holding hands and keeping each other warm, I couldn't help but smile, love made me happy, their love, my love. It's what kept me going now, I knew I wouldn't make it through alone.

Several hours passed and there was still some time to go until my date with Will. I stood up and decided to go home, I could take a shower, get ready and get some rest not to falter during our night out.

I walked about five steps but my knees gave in and I fell to the floor, I couldn't get up, I couldn't move at all, my body felt heavy and my eyes started to close, my mind screamed to Will but there was no way he could hear.


End file.
